10 years ago, the sands, the mini toy cars, the short broken crayons and those hyper maniacs flow of naïve impossible ideas and abundance supply of time were our best friend. I remember breaking crayons and eyeing the new one with eager eyes at the local bookstore. I even remember twisting the Barbie’s doll’s head and hiding it in different places around my play area. Barbie doll’s elicit a derangement in me, it freaks the hell out of me and the only one I had was the one my mom’s friend bought for me. Thank GOD. It was rubbery I think, purple hair and pink shirt. It feels like silicon (like fake boobs. ) And I guess the best thing about being a young kid is the innocence and care freeness that comes along with it. We feign curiosity sometimes, even fear or happiness. There was once my little brother took the role of an abandoned cat in space during one of our “let’s-play-acting-time and we were the space rangers( ALA-ALA POWER RANGER) and the plan was that we were to pick him (the “cat”) up from space. Somewhat it was supposed to be raining. I don’t know who came up with the “raining in space” idea but it seriously was ludicrous. My little brother got into the whole “abandoned cat idea” that he actually cried. When I asked him, he dramatically answered “sad mah, abandoned cat eh.”  Then there were those little activities in kindergarden where your teacher will pass around pieces of papers, broken crayons and unsharpened pencil colors. And we all draw caricatures of the unforeseen futures, full of ignorance and bliss, drawing firstly a head, the body then the limbs, the fingers, the pudgy uneven toes and of course the either long flow-y hair or spiky hair.  There’ll be lots of beautiful and whimsical usage of colors, a comeback of POP ARTS.  When the little artistes are done at work, some will jump from one table to another, looking at what other children just drew. Others continue drawing, smitten by this intimate process of artisans and often I happen to be one of them.  No, actually I’m the more selfish little artiste.  ( I won’t show it to anybody or I’ll eye other’s art piece with intense scrutiny) At the end of the class, the teacher ( I remember mine was a tall Indian lady) will be asking us to finish up the words. Some will struggle and annoy the teacher with intermittent question on how do you spell “firemen”, “police” “doctor” “space ranger”. I can’t remember what I wanted to be when I was in kindergarden but during my naïve primary school era, I knew I wanted to be a policewoman. 

 

 Oh well, I wish it’s easy now. I used to want to be a scriptwriter, having been totally obsessed with this fictional character in a malay film  who lives day to day writing scripts according to his mood. He was weird as a matter of fact. But deeply weird. You know all those ironies. How it works. Then the rest of my day for that period of time was spent mesmerizing at his altruistic charm, the weird habits he spots and god knows what else. I don’t ridicule myself with MANY ambitions, it’s hard for me to decide what I want to do but at one point of time (pivotal raging hormones period)  all I wanted to do was to make films. Surprisingly my future-want-to-be transits really fast this time. ( My policewoman ambition lasted for 5years, scriptwriter 4 years, film-maker only 1.5 years only)

If really given that one bloody chance, I’ll be a fashion editor. Or probably something fashion/media/graphics related. It’s confusing right now. On orientation day, I got assigned to another class and the advisor asked in a very dramatic way “what do you want to be” everybody said “director” It’s funny, I used to want so badly be a film director. Now all I want is to sew clothes,  get invitation to fashion shows, travel around the world looking writing stories and freelancing doing anything and everything.

I’m absolutely sure we all have those little funny ambitions when we were young. I wanted to be a policewoman and save the world. My little brother wants to be a game animator. Someone would have wanted to be a superhero. What do you used to want to be? An ice-cream man? Rupert Grint (Ron in Harry Potter) wanted to  be an ice cream boy if not an actor. A rocket scientist? OH! OH! A boxer?? How about a……. singer? Speaking of which, I just remembered something. I wanted to be a singer once. I was super obsessed with this boyband. You know the pole your mother use to hang clothes? I used that as my mike. Then when I watched 24 compulsively, I thought I could be a government agent or maybe a secret service agent or something (like Michelle Dessler or Nadia Yasser). After all I am a (lazy)  determined workaholic.

 

If anyone of you could be someone, regardless of qualification or whatever or money. Just one job for a day or for a week (I prefer the latter),what would it be? And why?